Entry title: a long long time ago..
Date/Time : Monday, July 4, 2011 / 11:26 AM
i finally on-ed my com since a long long time....
school's okay i guess.
friendship prob is solved so now im pretty relax.
losing weight that's what im doing nw....
fat lerh after holiday....
so my goal i guess 45kg?
few more kgs to go so muz eat less exercise more.
ytd was e best day since sch re-opened...
why? coz ytd in e morning went to watch TRANSFORMERS!
Shiok~~~~~~
in e afternoon, mom bought new acer laptop.
den @ nite we went to eat n of coz, bought my new bag:)
happy~~~~red haversack frm hayrer....love it...
actually wanted black or light blue or brown bt mom say black n brown nt nice n den say light blue easy dirty so she buy red for miie..okok bah....only ting i dun like is too little pockets....cnt squeeze....
anywayz,~~~
today holiday stuck @ hm dun wanna do hw so i play com a while watch vids...
so yea nid off com a while coz mom coming bak....
den i go eat..
yea n i nid wash clothes (SIANZ...)
so that's all for now....bye:)
Entry title: i dunnoe where my next step shd be......
Date/Time : Tuesday, June 14, 2011 / 3:20 PM
I thought perhaps i should just wait....
wait to see you agn....
every single time i walk around shopping malls,
i look around me,
hoping to see a familiar face,
a face that belongs to you...
just hoping, just maybe,
you would appear before my eyes..
everytime i see a bus or get on one,
i look around me,
remembering that day when i saw u,
hoping once again,
you would be there,
appearing right in front on me,
just like that day.
every camp i go starting from level camp,
i kept wishing and wishing that you were there.
coz those 2 camps hold my favourite memories in them...
the 2 memories of u talking to me once again.
i think i remember every single word u said.
what about you?
still remember any of them?
i don't think so.
i keep thinking and thinking,
dreaming and dreaming.
all those thoughts were about you.
bt u were happily dreaming bout those 2 gurls...
one that u like,
the another that you love.
she dumped you so many times.
and for that,
i wished i could scold her..
telling her that if she didn't want you,
dun break ur heart.
dun toy wif ur feelings.
at least nt the same way as how u broke mine..
my hearts breaking.
it really is.
it's killing me..
did you ever know how happy i was?
how happy i was when you told me ur ex was jealous,
jealous because of 4 simple words,
"i still have you"
so simple words carved in my heart.
did you know how happy i was?
how happy i was when you told me i was still your friend?
i don't really believe in those words though,
but i loved those words so damn bloody hell much...
wish you could know
but u nvr will..
thosand and 1 times i tried to tell myself,
stop thinking of you.
coz u never will be mine...
it's pointless loving you so dearly.
i keep telling myself this.
but my useless brain wouldn't listen.
it keep recalling things u said.
that voice of urs,
keep playing through my mind.
playing again and again.
that voice which read my name,
on that very day,
in front of the bubble tea shop.
the things we chatted online,
that screenshot i took.
i love you so damn bloody hell much...
i tell myself
"as long as you are happy, i am too."
but i never ever was...
coz u weren't mine.
coz i didn't stand a place in you.
coz i couldn't say i love you with your name at the back
coz of so many reasons.
but i never breath a word...
did you know that letter i got when i bought the bbt?
that was the very first letter of ur name....
u didn't know did u?
how happy as excited i got...
when u appeared right in front of me,
my heart just kept jumping up and down..
i was so so happy...
i wish you were to......
but u never will.....
will you?
I miss u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wan go see u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I noe where you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but i can't get there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wen will i see you agn??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when sch reopen?????????????????????????????
I can't w8 till then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
& LOVE YOU SOSO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ps.. juz being random...
Entry title: How i wish that dream was true, how i wish i really did see you...
Date/Time : / 11:04 AM
I had a dream last night,
A dream with you in it,
A dream i never want to forget,
coz that dream was what i wished and longed.
That dream I had,
you were in it,
in the position of my friend,
sitting so close to me.
hearing my friend talk to me,
and you talked to me too.
it felt like the previous years,
back in primary school.
with the current me,
inside that dream.
That voice I heard,
sounded like that voice you had,
the voice you own,
back in primary school.
Sigh, how i wish that dream was true.
How i wished I really saw you..
How I wish...how i wish...
But it just appears that it wouldn't happen.
coz when that guy turned,
i realized it wasn't u...
I thought just maybe,
one day you would find out,
how dearly i love you.
that I love everything about you.
except the fact that you aren't mine...
Okay, my blog only have the music part undone.
so, tmr den i make....
nid off com lerh =(
oh ya...ppl,
pls pls pls tagg my blog....
it's dead....
tyvm=)
sayonara:)
bye=))
Entry title: 8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning. I LOVE YOU..
Date/Time : / 2:18 PM
on that night you talked to me,
my heart was smiling as bright as it possibly could...
you started that few seconds chat..
but on the very next day, you avoided me...
as far as you possibly could...why?
i don't understand....
i don't get it....
i wish i could just talk to you,
talk to you with me starting it..
talk to you with you replying..
but like what i said and felt,
im just a coward in love.
people say that love is like magic.
but magic is just an
ILLUSION.
this illusion of mine,
will never get to the both sided part..
it will only stay at that one sided love...
that one sided part of mine....
without being able to see you,
im srsly missing you..
but you would never ever feel the same.
seeing you talk to those gurls you fancy,
seeing you look at them the way i look at you.
my heart hurts so much, so so much..
when i saw you on the bus,
that short 20 minutes meant everything to me.
but what was it to you?
i don't even think you saw me....
coz im nothing to you...
not even a subsitude...
time and time again you say you don't hate me,
you say that im your friend..
but from my side, i still feel that you treat me as an enemy..
my heart feels the pain.
but you don't feel the same way..
i feel that im so stupid...
waiting for about 5 years now,
im still unwilling to give up..
every single little bit of thing that happened,
i think i still remember.
but i don't think you remembered any single one..
why do i love you?
i don't even know..
since that very day P5 camp,
i started to love you...
perhaps before that, it was just a crush...
every time,
i tried to remember the times we talked,
i only know of 2 times this year...
smsing you....
you only give me those very very short replys....
i just wish you could understand my pain....
i might be smiling on my face...
but im truely crying inside...
don't you understand?
i wonder when you will...
i always be here waiting for you,
waiting with all my heart,
waiting with all the patience i have...
i dont think i will love a second guy the way i love you...
coz, till now, i never had..
count the number of times i wrote your name on my books...
i guess, its uncountable...
count the number of times i was wishing for you to talk to me,
for you to be mine,
i only can say, a zillion times...
in any case,
i will be right here waiting...
just in case you need me...
coz i love you, i really do...
